And this is why I delete Bumble once a week


Bumble is a serious love hate relationship. I wouldn’t say I’m Bumble’s number one user, but I definitely enjoy laying in bed swiping left and right. I mean the ego boost is great when you match with a V hot guy you never thought would ever swipe right on you. And drunk bumbling is even better. Waking up Saturday morning after an extremely drunk Friday night and seeing all the regretful swiping you did is almost as great as reading your drunk texts.

There are definitely a handful of great guys on there. I have witnessed multiple relationships come from Bumble and I 100p back them. I’ve met some of those great guys from Bumble, but I’ll share those later because this story is 100000x better.

I was lying in bed one night and could not fall asleep so naturally I opened Bumble. I started swiping and no one was catching my eye except this one guy *Ryan*. He was 30 years old and had some very attractive photos. Everything on paper looked great. So I decided to message him the same message I send to every guy (no shame). I sent him a GIF of Rihanna in a pool waving.

The next morning I woke up with a reply. I throw out my number left and right on Bumble because well lets be honest… Who really wants to open the “Bumble App” at work and have all your coworkers peering over your shoulder?? Not I. So we started texting later that evening and conversation was going well for the first few texts. He asked me how tall I was which was a question I get a lot from boys on Bumble. I simply answered 5’1. I was expecting a response similar to the other guys; “Yeah you look small in your photos.” Nope! That’s when the conversation took an unexpected turn. The next text I opened from him was ***THREE DICK PICS*** Not 1, but 3. Captioned “Can you handle this?” EW.

Obviously like any other girl I took a screenshot and sent them to my friends. I mean I had to show them! It isn’t everyday that you receive 3 dick pics from a total stranger… Did I mention he is a teacher?? This 30 year old man who sends dick pics to girls he matched with on Bumble is teaching our future?! What the actual fuck. Anyway, I decided to mess with him and told him I was a virgin. He didn’t find it funny and called me psycho. BYE FELICA.

P.S def could have handled it.


xoxo, E

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